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Pre-teens have Judy Blume, and now those of us who think Shaboozey is an exclamation have Hello? Who Is This? Margaret?

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Dani Alpert didn’t wind up where she thought she would be, but then few of us do. If you’re Alpert (author of the award-winning memoir, The Girlfriend Mom), you cry, then write a collection of funny, absurd, and cathartic essays that turn disappointments into a deeply relatable (and accidental) survival-like guide called Hello? Who Is This? Margaret?

Gazing back on her life through a middle-aged lens, the ingénue, now a member of AARP, uses distorted and unhinged humor (but always self-aware) to cope with life’s messiness, universal human failings, and shattered dreams.

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Dani’s pursuit of success and belonging, and her response to crushing rejection, is at the center of this collection. Whether she’s begging Hollywood to take notice of her, her retail adventures shopping for gas masks during COVID, or her idiotic decision to vacation at a romantic couple’s resort after a heart-wrenching breakup, rejection remains a battle cry to keep going, even when doors continue slamming in your face.

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The author perseveres with equal parts delusion and grit. Her idealism and optimism in the face of endless “almost,” “so close,” and “not-quite” is a brutally honest and comedic paean to failure and the opportunities that arise from the misses. She embraces her contradictions and imperfections with compassion and laughter, inspiring others to do the same.

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These entertaining essays validate the assertion that the attempts themselves are a triumph. Our limitations are self-imposed, and no one else gets to decide when we stop or what we’re capable of becoming.